the ill-tempered cavalier ([info]gillen) wrote,
@ 2006-05-25 22:36:00
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a sneak peek at X-Men III:
PROF X:
I assume you're wondering why I called you all here today?

MAGNETO:
Especially me, yes.

PROF X:
This pertains to all of us, Eric. You see, they've just discovered the cure for Mutism!

[astonished mutterings... rhubarb! cabbage! rhubarb!]

PROF X:
It's true! We can get cured of our bizarre mutations and live normal lives like regular people. Cyclops, you'll finally be able to take off those goggles.

CYCLOPS:
Hot damn!

PROF X:
Rogue, you'll finally be able to touch boys without them... y'know... dying.

ROGUE:
Oh wow!

PROF X:
Eric, you can stop being Jewish.

MAGNETO:
What?? Charles, that's not my mutant power.

PROF X:
What's your mutant power?

MAGNETO:
I'm the master of magnetism! I can command anything metal!

PROF X:
Oh. Well, yes. I guess I always thought that was just, y'know... just something you did. Isn't 'magneto' that cracker-bread you people eat?

MAGNETO:
Matzoh?

PROF X:
Ah! That's it!

MAGNETO:
(sotto voce) Oy, you're such an idiot!

PROF X:
And Wolverine, finally you'll be able to... to... oh.

WOLVERINE:
Yeah. "Oh." Retracting adamantium claws without the healing factor? Gee... thanks."

PROF X:
Well, we'll find something fun for you to do too. Maybe we can all go have a beer afterwards.


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[info]ghostwes
2006-05-26 06:31 am UTC (link)
Heh. That was great.

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[info]unfashioned
2006-05-26 07:08 am UTC (link)
I haven't laughed that loudly since Robot Chicken.

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[info]bugboy3001
2006-05-26 07:18 am UTC (link)
ha ha ha! this made me laugh.

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[info]si_fuller
2006-05-26 07:24 am UTC (link)
I've got the Essential X-men that reprints when Magneto became a good guy in the 80s. He pretty much did go around being Jewish at people the entire time. It was probably impossible for two holocaust survivors to pass in the street in New York city without Magneto turning up and giving them a hug.

Ah, the Claremontian subtlety.

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[info]stevenglassman
2006-05-26 08:47 am UTC (link)
Hehehe. Brilliant.

I reviewed it in my LJ without significant plot spoilers, btw. Not an easy task.

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hehe
[info]admyrrek
2006-05-26 09:59 am UTC (link)
Logan always complains about his healing factor and beer in the comics... he can never get a decent buzz, let alone drunk...

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[info]nom_de_grr
2006-05-26 10:04 am UTC (link)


...about matzoh.

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[info]dj_ango
2006-05-26 12:22 pm UTC (link)
funny icon...
I'm sad to see the writing is not up to par as the last two... oh well, looks like a hoot. doo doo doo

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[info]exprophet
2006-05-26 01:07 pm UTC (link)
Best. Ever.

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[info]sabotabby
2006-05-26 02:07 pm UTC (link)
Ahahahaha!

Has anyone put this on [info]metaquotes yet? Can I?

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[info]gillen
2006-05-26 03:39 pm UTC (link)
you may

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[info]marlo
2006-05-26 02:35 pm UTC (link)
XD

It's funny 'cause it's true. Fuckin' Wolverine, man.

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(Anonymous)
2006-05-26 05:15 pm UTC (link)
Oh, crimony. I guess that's how they're catering to Little Miss "Why isn't the entire movie series all about MEEEE?" I always thought it would never happen because Storm's third in command, you'd have to kill off both Professor X and Cyclops. They really should've hired somebody nobody's ever heard of to play Storm.

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[info]gillen
2006-05-27 02:30 am UTC (link)
Mip? Only person I know with such visceral Halle Berry hate.

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This explains much.
[info]loftgeek
2006-05-26 11:56 pm UTC (link)
I always *knew* Professor X was a skinhead.

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[info]adellyna
2006-05-27 10:12 am UTC (link)
Rock. Well, not the movie, but your post. Although I really don't think Rogue would have gotten an abortion taken the cure.

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[info]sofs
2006-05-27 01:14 pm UTC (link)
you made me laugh and i am very hungover. hnnnh

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